The Key to a Happy and Healthy Marriage

Monday, 11 September, 2023 - 12:23 pm

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Rosh Hashanah commemorates the creation of Adam and Eve, and it is also the anniversary of the first marriage in history. I find it fascinating that the first words Adam said of his wife Eve recorded in the Torah capture the essence of marriage and intimacy.

After G-d had created everything in this world in six days, the world was ready for the creation of humanity, the species charged with bringing the recognition of the creator to creation. Adam was created first and as he opened his eyes, he praised G-d the Creator of the world and gathered all living creatures to kneel and bow to G-d, thus Crowning G-d King of the world. We, as Adam’s descendants, recrown G-d as our King every year on Rosh Hashana.

His first mission was to name all of the animals. To be clear, this job was not some leisure walk in the park like someone would choose a name for their pet. G-d created the world through speaking into being with the biblical Hebrew known as Lashon Hakodesh “the holy tongue” and Adam was charged with revealing which Hebrew letters comprised the spiritual energy of each respective animal. He accomplished this mission with a divinely endowed wisdom that was superior then the wisdom possessed by the angels!

As he named all the animals, Adam noticed that each species was created as a pair, male and female and he yearned for a mate of his own. The Torah records how G-d put him to sleep and created the first woman from a piece of Adam’s body. When Adam met his soulmate he gave her a name saying (Genesis 2:23) “She will be called ISHA for she was taken from ISH (which means man).”

Of course, the first woman is more famously known as “Chava” or Eve, but that name only came to be after she gave birth to children. Her original name as the soul mate of Adam was ISHA.

Here is the fascinating thing about the biblical Hebrew language. It’s a fascinating maze of interconnected concepts and ideas all embedded in the various words constructed by the 22 letters of the Aleph Bet, and there is so much to learn from comparing similar words.

The words ISH and ISHA are constructed with the same letters as the word AISH which means fire. Whereas Adam could have named his soulmate with another variation of the divine names for humanity, he specifically chose these two words to describe their united relationship and marriage.

Everything in this world, including humans, is constructed of four basic elements: fire, water, air and earth. Adam understood that the fundamental force that unites male and female humans and brings two separate entities to become one family unit, is their shared fire. Fire represents purity, love, warmth, light, and passion and this gift of energy is the fuel that keeps a marriage strong. 

But like fire, if this energy is not properly channeled, it can be destructive and devastating. The Torah as our divine guide to life provides us the manual to nurturing and channeling our passion and love in our marriages properly - through the mitzvah of Mikvah. For over three thousand years, Jewish couples have found that intimacy revolving around this critical mitzvah holds the key to healthy and happy marriages.

Please call me at 915-241-5711 to learn more about observing this beautiful mitzvah.


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