It is with much gratitude to Hashem for all of His kindness that Chani and I look forward to the wedding of our dear daughter Rochel to her wonderful groom Abi. May they merit to build a home upon the foundations of Torah and Mitzvot, illuminated by the teachings of Chassidus and the guidance of the Rebbe. An open and welcoming home that shall serve as a beacon of light for all.
Parents naturally wish to bless their children with everything, all the time. However, no one is interested in hearing long and detailed laundry lists of blessings – all the time. It is important to distill all the love and best wishes into a few concise and meaningful words. How does one do that?
In parshat Vayechi Yosef brings his two sons Menashe and Efraim to his father Yaakov to receive his blessing before he passes away. The short blessing they receive links them to Jewish posterity for all times. "Whenever Jews will bless their children they will wish them to be as Efraim and Menashe." These two children will serve as the role model for Jewish children forever.
Efraim and Menashe were very dear to Yaakov since they were born in a foreign land, far away from the holy and spiritual environment of the House of Yaakov in Israel and nevertheless developed into pious and committed Jews. They serve as an eternal testament that the ideals and morals of Judaism can be transmitted to the next generation regardless of the staggering odds due to external circumstances. Jewish education is possible everywhere.
Upon deeper reflection on this blessing, we find something strange. Menashe was the firstborn and yet Yaakov mentions Efraim first. Moreover, Yosef presented his two sons to Yaakov by placing Menashe to Yaakov's right and Efraim to his left with the intention that Yaakov place his right hand on the head of the first-born Menashe. To his shock, Yaakov crosses his arms, placing his right hand on Efraim's head. Yosef insists that the right hand be placed on Menashe's head due to his first-born status. Yaakov refuses saying, "I know, my son, I know; he too will become a people, and he too will be great. But his younger brother will be greater than he, and his children['s fame] will fill the nations."
Although the progeny of both of them will accomplish great things, the quality of the deeds of Yehoshua Bin Nun - the grandson of Efraim - will outshine them all.
The disagreement between Yaakov and Yosef was essentially the debate of quantity versus quality. Upon entering the Land of Israel the tribe of Menashe numbered more than 50,000 strong whereas the tribe of Efraim numbered approximately 32,000 men. Yosef believed that quantity is the defining factor in nurturing a nation. The more members you have on the team the greater chance of them succeeding in the collective mission.
However, Yaakov determined that quality is of paramount importance. No matter our population size we will always be in the minority. Jewish vibrancy and continuity depends primarily on the integrity and quality of our commitment to Torah study and Mitzvah observance. Therefore, the quintessential Jewish blessing places Efraim before Menashe.
This is our blessing to Rochel and Abi. As you embark on this new and shared journey in your lives, may you build and nurture your home with solid quality. A home of warmth, love, mutual respect and an ironclad commitment to serve as the Rebbe's messengers to bring the light of Torah and Chassidus to your fellow Jews and to be an inspiration to all.